Reflections

So let's talk reflections. First, let's talk about the reflection I saw of myself as Ollie and I walked past a window on our way to Korea House the other night. I couldn't help but exclaim, "OH MY GOSH." Ollie responded by saying, "Yeah, Babe. Your stomach HAS gotten a lot bigger lately." So brave of him. I knew he was right, and I wasn't offended. Cannon has grown so noticeably these last few weeks. I seriously don't know how my belly can grow any more, but my guess is that it will. I seriously thought today that I need to carry some heavy duty lotion in my purse because my skin stings so much during the day from all the stretching.

Today as I was chillaxing on the couch, I decided to take some video of my belly as Cannon rolled around. I thought maybe I could trick him into performing for me. I promise every time he starts moving like crazy, the moment I point it out to someone, he stops. I felt like Elmer Fudd trying to be vewy vewy quiet to sneak up on my little bunny.

Then I thought I would take a picture of my feet from my perspective. I couldn't stop laughing.

Anyway, went to the doctor this morning. I love my doctor. He is so kind and compassionate. Clearly loves what he does. He said that he expects to see me at my next appointment (next Monday), but that Cannon will likely come next week! I feel both excited and nervous. I could have my baby boy in my arms next week! If not next week, then probably the next! Either way, that is so soon!

Today I hung out with Mandy, Caroline, and Luke. Caroline was so precious. She said, "Cannon birthday party?" Mandy answered, "Yes, Cannon is going to have a birthday party really soon!"

Oops...I fully intended to "reflect" on more, but I'm going to bed.

Ok, I can't believe I am posting this picture, but what the heck.

Oscar Ruminations

As many of you may know, I (Oliver) love to watch film and have been trying to make my way through the films that are Oscar nominated films. However, I have little to no desire to see The Reader and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Milk is a possibility and so is Doubt but there are many factors that have kept me from going to see them such as time, lack of desire, money, and getting the house and myself ready for the arrival of Cannon.

This years list of Oscar films have been very thin. I have been extremely disappointed in what I've seen so far. Other than Slumdog Millionaire and The Visitor, every thing has been disappointing and uneventful. I feel as if this downward spiral is a result of the writers' strike last year and the trickle down effect to this year. The problem with the films these years is that the acting may be spectacular (i.e. Gran Torino, The Wrestler, and Frost/Nixon), but the stories overall are too thin to move for the two-ish running times of the film.

I'll take the fact that Clint Eastwood is doing great work as an actor in the twilight of his career but the story and the character he portrays are so extreme that the resolution and climax are too big of a leap. It is too far reaching. It's interesting seeing Eastwood dealing with the subject of death in the last couple films that I've seen of his (Gran Torino and Million Dollar Baby). His struggle with life after death and how that relates with the decisions that we make in this life are interesting, but the film falls flat on its face. Gran Torino is a two hour film that needed half of its length to get its message across. There is a redemptive overtone to the film but the story leading up to the resolution left me bored and empty when the climax of the film happens. I emphasized the fact that you have to have great acting with a great story and not allow one to fall by the wayside. A well told story should draw you in. It's not supposed to keep you at a distance. I never found myself ever relating with any of the characters or empathizing for them.

Same goes for The Wrestler. Mickey Rourke is fantasatic as well in this film and I hope that he wins the Oscar for his job here. I also love Darren Aronofsky and all the films that he has directed. However, even though Rourke's life embodies the character of Randy "The Ram" Robinson, the story, just like Gran Torino, spun its wheels for most of the one hour 45 minute running time. Rourke is very real and the story is much more down to earth and tangible than in Gran Torino because of the dysfuntion in his life and the despair he feels from being an over the hill, broken down wrestler and being an absentee father to his daughter. The story was too packaged. You see how The Ram is broken down physically and emotionally throughout the film but his digression is scattered and underdeveloped. The depth of detail with his daughter and his life outside of wrestling is disappointing because it doesn't give the depth to The Ram that the story around him deserves. If we are to empathize with him, there needs to be more to his character than the fact that he is a wrestler who is past his prime and who pines for his days of being in the limelight.

Frost/Nixon is an interesting story and the premise of the interview between David Frost and Richard Nixon coming together was fascinating but it's a topic that is more well suited for a documentary rather than a feature length film. It was educational to me since I knew nothing about these interviews or anything about David Frost. However, this film didn't have enough substance to warrant its two hour running time as well. I don't know if my life is getting too busy that I can't set aside two hours for a film. I just believe that if a film is going to be two hours, it should move and develop the story and characters to warrant it. A story should flow; not get bogged down and spin its wheels over the same plot lines and issues that have been revealed or resolved.

All these films are definitely worth seeing if you want to see actors at their best (Eastwood in Gran Torino, Rourke in The Wrestler, David Sheen and Frank Langella in Frost/Nixon). However, if you want to see complete films, you need to see Slumdog Millionaire, The Visitor, and Frozen River. This films stand way above the rest this year because, in my opinion, a great film will stick with you way after you have waled out of the theater or way after the credits have stopped rolling. Each of these films have done that for me this year. I just rented Frozen River last night and it hasn't left my mind. It's a devastating film. Melissa Leo, who plays the lead in the film and is nominated for best actress, is wonderful as the mother in this film. She plays a mother who is desperate and at her last straw perfectly. She is right on the edge throughout the film on whether her life is going to come crashing down around her or not and the decisions she makes draw her closer and closer to that edge and she brought me there right with her.

The premise of Frozen River is centered around Ray Eddy (Leo) who is a wife who has been abandoned by her husband a week before Christmas. Her husband is a gambling addict and left with all the family's money. What makes matters worse is that they had just put a down payment on their dream home, a double wide trailer home, which they are endanger of losing because she doesn't have the money to pay for the rest of the down payment for the delivery of the home. In the midst of her despair she goes looking for her husband and runs into a woman, Lila, who found her husbands car with the keys in it. Through circumstances, Ray finds out that Lila smuggles illegal immigrants across the Canadian border outside the jurisdiction of the border patrol because she lives on an Indian reservation. Ray ends up getting caught up into the trafficking of the illegals as a result teetering on the edge of doing what is right and legal or what she deems best for her and her two sons. The film and characters draw you in and the reality of the situations and decisions that Ray makes hit you right between the eyes. She wants to do what is right but also realizes the enormity of the decisions that she is making and the impact it will have on her and her children. What is the right decision? It is heart wrenching to watch these lives spin out of control but it also shows the reality of the ambiguity that can confront us if we allow desperation and the world to control us rather than God. It shows what a lack of hope and the absence of grace can do to lives. It also shows how decisions that we make have repercussions and that we are responsible for the decisions that we make. The fact that we have a Creator that has gone the distance for us, gives us hope and should never allow despair to reign over us.

Slumdog Millionaire, The Visitor, and Frozen River are films that will make you look deeper into our lives and search out the Truth and find freedom from what the world tries to tie us down with. There can be freedom and that is a wonderful truth!

34 weeks!

People have said that they've been able to learn a little bit about the personality of their baby while in the womb. One friend said that she would feel little hand strokes inside her belly. When her baby was born, and to this day, he strokes her neck while she's cuddling him. Another friend said that his mom felt him tapping his foot while she was pregnant with him. He's now an amazing musician whose primary instrument is the drums!

I think when Cannon is born I will have "a ha!" moments. He'll do something and it will make sense what he was doing inside of me. Right now he is Mr. Roly Poly. I can sit down and he'll give me a show. Of course as soon as I ask someone else to watch, he stops. Babies are smart. They don't like to perform on command.

I could be wrong, but I think Cannon is going to come before his actual due date (March 12). I would like him to bake at least until 37 or 38 weeks. It's crazy to believe that that is only about 3 weeks away. I keep telling Ollie that our lives are about to change and we don't EVEN know how much. Are we ready? I think we are as ready as we can be. Sure, there are things I want to do around the house first. My mom is coming in a few days to help me organize and get the finishing touches on Cannon's room. But as far as being "ready" in other ways, I think we are. I am comforted knowing that God is sovereign. He loves Cannon more than we ever will. When he was just a little peanut, God knew him. Every day is written in His book, before one of them has even come to be. He has clearly provided for Ollie and me thus far. Of course He will provide all we need to raise Cannon. We are so thankful for friends and family who walk with us. Friends who will remind us we are not alone and that we are not crazy. (Please!) Friends who will pray for us and help us point him to Jesus.

I just can't wait to meet the lil' guy!

Check out these photos my friend Sharon (sharonnicolephotography.com) took for us last week!

Nice to meet you, Mr. Third Trimester.

Cannon is shifting inside of me as I write. He knows I'm writing about him. To feel him move more and more has been weird and amazing all at once. At first it was, "Wha? Was that him? Or was that just gas?" Now it's definitely him. I can tell when he's kicking vs. when it's a high five. And I have patted his bum quite a few times. Cute little bum. I can't wait to see his sweet little face.

So I've got 10 more weeks 'til my due date of March 12. Last dr. visit, though, Cannon's head measurement put him in the 91st percentile. Ai yah is right. So perhaps he will make his appearance a bit sooner. That will be fine. I just want him to come in the Lord's timing.

During this Christmas season, I have been doing quite a bit of reflecting. My community group decided that we would pray the prayers of Mary, Zechariah, the angels, and Simeon during advent (Luke 1-2). Mary's prayer, "Behold, I am a servant of the Lord. May it be to me according to your word," has turned me upside down. I imagine what Cannon is going to look like, what he'll be like growing up, what kind of man he will be. And then I think about how Mary must have felt. What did she think when she felt God incarnate moving inside of her? I want to have Mary's heart--her submission and yieldedness.

I've also been thinking about how it was just about one year ago that we miscarried. It was a time of grief like I've never known before. I still miss that child and long to meet him or her one day. But I am in awe of the Lord's grace. He reminds me that he hears me, He grieves with me, He knows me, He remembers me. Just one year later, as we still mourn the death of our unborn child, we anticipate Cannon's new life. He is good. "May it be to me according to your word, Lord."

This picture was taken at 28 weeks. Wowsa. 91st percentile. Yup.

I am officially in the 21st century!

Well, this is my first post ever! This is the husband of the aforementioned Chiang Gang from which the name originates.

I have a tendency to think as I write. So, if this post becomes illogical, just let it go.

It has been fun to watch Les' belly grow and to feel ol' Cannon kick (which happened once. I think I've lost all my new endings in my hands or something). I am slowly getting more excited as the time approaches for Cannon to make his first appearance. It continues to grow as he grows. Am I ready to be a dad? I can honestly say "No" but I hope that is a good place to be so that I can lean more on God than on my own devices. That's my prayer at this point and I hope that it always is. I just hope that I can love him and Les well. It is a little weird so far especially with an empty crib in Cannon's room but it will become reality in three months from today! Wow!

Since Leslie started this blog, she thought that it would be a good idea for me to post some thoughts on films that I have seen and mulled over at least a little bit. Sp here we go...


We were able to get a advance screening ticket to go see this film last night. I heard about this movie a few months ago and have been itchin' to see it since I heard about it and with the attacks in Mumbai a couple weeks ago, this movie is even that much more relevant and appropriate since the main characters are from the slums of Mumbai.

The quick synopsis of this film is about a young boy who grow up in the slums of Mumbai and gets on the Indian version of "Who Wants to be a Millionaire". He ends up winning on the show and right after leaving the stage, he is arrested by the police because they believe that he cheated because they can't believe that a boy that grew up in the slums could know some much.

As the interrogation and questioning continues, the main character's (Jamal) life unfolds as he answers each question on the show. Each question explains some experience in his life and as the he gets closer to the million (or 20 million rupies), the intensity of his life unfolding increases. I won't say anything more about the plot so that I don't want to spoil it if you don't know nothing about it other than the fact this film will put you through the full range of emotions from laughter to tears. That is cliche but so true about this film. It's been a long time since I've seen a film that was two hours long and legitimately needed the whole two hours to tell the story fully. And here is another cliched saying: this is why films are made. This movie epitomizes what is great about film. It tells a compelling story as well as hooks you into it as if you're living it with Jamal. Danny Boyle (Trainspotting, 28 Days Late, Millions), the director, films it in a way that you do feel as if you're running through the streets of Mumbai with the characters. You feel every single bit of the film as if you're there. Boyle transcends the film beyond the screen and puts the viewer right in the middle of everything.

Jamal is a sympathetic character but he isn't pitiful. He has strength, courage, and focus. He's a character that you no doubt will side with because he is not tainted in his belief in seeking after what he wants or believes is right. His is a noble cause. He is sincere and genuine. His motives are pure and he always tells the truth. And underneath it all, the movie has so much hope in the midst of hopelessness. There is hope in the streets of Mumbai. There is hope in the slums, in the midst of the trash heaps. There is hope when the world and people say there isn't any. There is always hope no matter what your circumstances may say. That is something we can live by.

And there's the tallywacker.

That's what the doctor said, but I wasn't quite sure what a "tallywacker" was. I was so sure we were having a girl that I actually thought to myself, "Do girls have those?" It wasn't until he started tracing our baby's bottom on the screen that I realized what he meant. OOOOOOOOH.

So we're having a BOY! I am so glad we found out because I have needed the time to let it soak in. Don't get me wrong, I love little boys. I just had it so engrained in my mind that Shawonda was actually Shawonda, but now Shawonda is just Shawon. (Thanks, Michelle.)

We sold the bed that was crowding Cannon's soon-to-be room. So now it's cleared out and ready for me to start planning. We ordered our crib last week which will take about 3 or 4 months to come in! I haven't seen any bedding that I love yet. My cousin Leigh, an amazing seamstress, said she'd be happy to make it if we find fabric we like.

Oh--so yeah, his name is Cannon Lee. Cannon because we like the sound, and Lee after a man who was very dear to Oliver. We knew we wanted to use Lee but weren't sure we liked the sound of Lee Chiang. Sounds like a new brand of soy sauce.

My friend Sharon is going to do a maternity shoot for me in a few more months. A few weeks ago, though, we went out to take some pictures of my website (which will be up one day--hopefully before Cannon is born!). For fun, she took a few shots of my belly. BTW, Sharon is an amazing photographer and you should check out her blog: sharonnicolephotography.blogspot.com.

There are no good words to rhyme with belly.

Things I have learned recently concerning my belly:

1. This is the first time in my whole life that I have ever wanted it to be noticed.

2. It actually disappoints me when people say it doesn't look that big. I sent the pictures below to my brother Brandon and he said, "Oh whatever...you look the same as when I saw you last. I'm not impressed." Well poo on you. I think Brian just ran ahead of you in the race for Favorite Uncle.

3. I can do a couple of things to make it look bigger.
a. Eat a lot before I see people. This can add a good 2 months.
b. Wear strategic clothing. Things with a waistband that fit right under the belly emphasize it quite well.

4. Stretchmarks are unavoidable. Did you know that? Apparently you can use creams to "minimize their appearance" but you can't keep them away. That's just great. My friend calls them "battle scars." I guess that's a good way to think of them (if I have to think about them at all). Who am I kidding? I've got some already, so we'll just act like I'm collecting them and I'm about to hit the jackpot.

Anyway, even though my brother Brandon wasn't impressed by these pictures, here you go. This was at 14 weeks. In 2 weeks we find out if we're having a girl or a boy!!! I'm thinking girl.